the legal name change process varies state-by-state. this guide is for North Carolina!
the process is sorta weird, but it's really just a slightly annoying amount of small steps. i believe in u <3
i also highly recommend community support - finding others to do it with, or others who have done it recently, or joining a name change clinic / workshop!
resources
there's a few "full guides" out there that have varying levels of specific-ness and consistency. first check out this single-picture overview (the "Limited Title Search" part might not be necessary, I haven't seen that elsewhere):
then take a look thru some of these more detailed resources:
- this one from UNC Chapel Hill gives a solid mid-level overview of the process
- this Google Drive folder is good for showing the various specific steps and forms of the process! start with NC State Adult Name Change - Step by Step.docx in the main folder
- this PDF packet is another one that gets down to specific steps and forms, but it's designed for Charlotte; there's other more local locations for many of the steps here in Raleigh
i'd recommend reading over a few of these, compare them to see what's consistent, google / ask me or others in the server about inconsistencies between the two, do the same for any questions or clarifications.
callouts
I personally found it helpful to make a checklist or even a flowchart of the various sequencing of things. here's the big callouts: - fingerprints are necessary for SBI & FBI background checks, and those checks can take weeks to get back. I recommend starting them first - your Notice of Intent to change name has to be up in the courthouse for two weeks before you can submit the final Petition for Name Change; that's a decent next step - your other documents (the Affidavit Trio as I affectionately call them) can be done sooner to the final Petition, but they require a Notary signature, and some friends who live in the same county as you to come and attest to your good character; start thinking early of where & how you'll get a notary and those people - when you submit the Petition for Name Change, I recommend paying like $20 extra for 5 Certified Copies of the court order name change, that way you have plenty to use for other documentation changes.
after you get the Court Order for Name Change, take a little bit to celebrate, and then dive into the "downhill" part of it: - you'll need to update Social Security and Driver's License (if you have one) w/in 60 days - sending off a Passport application (or a renewal if you already have one; you can include a name change and a gender marker change in a renewal) - Birth Certificate rules are defined by your birth state, you'll have to look that up to see the process - banking, job, school, etc
2025 concerns for trans people
the new administration is generally pretty resistant of accepting legal transition paperwork. however there are still ways to make this happen. there exist legal transitions after Jan 20 2025!
in particular, I'm aware of an injunction in a pending ACLU class action suit can give you a legal pathway for passport changes. see this page for info: https://www.aclu.org/trumps-assault-on-transgender-rights/qa-orr-v-trump
I don't know about the rest of the steps, but I know a few things:
- local queer communities can give you advice on whether the process is feasible in your city/state.
- most everyday people really don't care for or against trans people. right now the loud mean voices have been able to climb into positions of power, but that doesn't mean every government worker personally wants you dead. most just want to get through their day without a fuss just like the rest of us.
- cities are much more likely than smaller towns to have supportive or indifferent government workers.
- cities are much more likely to have local queer communities for mutual support and guidance to know what is safe.
- legal name / gender may not be relevant for most of your daily life. people checking IDs at stores / bars generally don't care.
- employers are IMO the most difficult topic, but you can absolutely introduce yourself with a preferred name and bring up legal name during an interview, or do the reverse. if an employer gives you trouble for this, they probably aren't going to be good to you in other ways. if necessary you can avoid the topic altogether and stay closeted.
i'd say you have a few options:
- do a name change now ASAP, aim to go legally stealth
- benefit: you fully free yourself to find authentic daily joy as the person you are meant to be
- risk: if things get Really Fucking Bad you may be in a more vulnerable position
- take some transition steps now but delay (some or all) legal transition until a safer time
- benefit: you experience the vast majority of the life-changing joy, freedom, and fulfillment. you allow yourself to feel happiness, pride, and meaning, which form an incredibly important source of strength against adversity.
- risk: possible difficulties from split identity presentation (e.g. employment), but likely less than you imagine. there are ways to manage these concerns and still have a fulfilling life with a reasonable degree of safety.
- delay and deny any external signs of trans identity, stay closeted
- benefits: less risk of social and governmental harm (though these are usually broad and hard to predict)
- risks: you deny yourself the life-changing happiness, pride, and life fulfillment of transition, leaving yourself with much less to fight off feelings of depression and hopelessness.
- i recommend only taking this option for a limited time. I promise wherever you are, you can find some safe spaces for community, acceptance, and the extremely important Things To Live For.
- flee to a safer place
- concern: where? the fascist movement is kinda global, but so are queer people.
- I think finding and joining a trusted queer community is the real thing that will keep us safe, not spending a bunch of time and energy and money to jump to an unfamiliar place in the hopes that the location alone will escape our threats. now is the time to build up a financial and social safety net so we have the ability to protect each other.
- if you must, then move to a larger population center with a stronger community. try to find connections and community there ahead of your move.
there are so many loving, kind, compassionate people in the world, we just need to search enough to find one another. we are strong, we will always survive. be kind to yourself, protect your mental health from overwhelming negative news. you are never alone <3